I have modified my respones for this forurm the following was in response to a young woman in need of an answer on a diffcut matter submission but also divorce and loss. I wrote directly to the sites moderator first then gave my responses. I must state here I did this only after much thought and prayer.
To the moderator I tried to keep it short these are things my sisters have dealt with over the years and answers my Father gave them. They suffered the same guilt as seems present in the writer. I was taught to do these things: there are many women of virtue found in the word; teaching of them and their actions is lacking.
The young woman asked a number of questions so I have numbered them and responded as well as is possible in hope the answers will be of aid.
1. Why the fatherless and the widow?
It is care for the widow and orphans and the poor among you
2 . What happens to those single women in particular in the kingdom without any man due to divorce? Or loss due to death.
In the kingdom the righteous woman shall receive her reward.
That is an easy one answered by the Christ when talking to the Pharisee; for you do not understand in the kingdom none is taken nor given in marriage.
When asked about divorce he explained or asked them what does the law say? Mosses said to write a bill of divorce, Christ then said God allowed this for he knew and knows the callousness of the human heart.
3. Where do they turn for their submission to order?
They turn to the lord Jesus the Christ their high priest their savior the head of us all. Submission does not mean you are a mindless slave it means you give due honor respect and trust in him.
In Corinthians Paul gives notice to and guidelines about the duties of a husband what the wife’s response should be and finishes with telling the husband to do more, You will find that Paul writes as do the Prophets and in the Psalms that we should not provoke our children to anger, But if you care to read the book of Proverbs chapter 31 it will enlighten you greatly. It tells of the virtuous wife, what she does for her family. Many read these words many have written about them but few note that she is the business manager the money keeper and the mistress of the house her husband supports her in all her ways and he is called blessed. And her children admire respect and honor her.
She is in authority as we all are and she is in submission owing due honor and respect to those above her.
4. God is very clear that a woman and the children should be under the authority of a man. Reinforced by repeatedly saying; how we should take care of the widow and orphans.
Through out the word of God the people were told were reminded to aid the poor give to the widow feed the orphan. The story of Ruth and Naomi gives a great teaching on this. How Boaz treated them, his and their role in the life of the Christ but more importantly it presents the redeeming of those who were lost and had nothing. Ruth was a picture of the wild branch that was grafted in. She submitted to Boaz as her mother in law directed; Boaz knowing who she was and who her mother in law was watched over and protected her as one with great authority before and without any expectations.
We should care for the poor as Christ said to his disciple for they are always with you. It is written that in the house in the family of God that none should be in lack or want. In the book of Acts it is said that they gathered on the first day the eat and distribute among the brethren that which was pledged so as none among them were in lack or want.
Yes, we are to feed our brother and see to their needs.
Your last is a long question the gap was not created so mach as made by poor choice by both men and women; for women as much as men leave marriages. The loss of the faith the rejection of the word for new age repackaged get wealthy teaching has caused a lot of harm. For Christians Paul teaches that if ones spouse is an unbeliever and wishes to stay then do so if not then part ways. Today we have just as many broken families absent the wife as the husband both are necessary.
Deborah was prophetess in the time of the judges a leader of the Israelites, she talked with God she walked with God. But when it came time for war she submitted that authority to a man. Who in turn questioned her and she passed on what God had said since you doubt the word of the most high God ,then a woman shall find the enemy out.
Our society has rejected and has in many ways blessed single parenthood as good young women now view having a child out of wedlock as a rite of passage as a statement of I am an adult, you must respect me; This as much happening in the church as it is outside the church.
5. Submitting to ones earthly father?
When I as an adult had questions, I prayed, I went to my father my mother; I asked their advice, each of my sisters as they found them selves in situations went to the parents for advise aid council. My father is passed now he sleeps in Christ, now I am in his place so I do as he did..
Submit does not mean bow down it means respect honor love. It is the role of the father the husband to insure that the woman achieves her goals and to insure she receive the honor she is due.
6. Who shall teach them? You now ask:
Teachers in their church, must a woman have a man to complete her life? Deborah did not she submitted to God. We all submit to God who follow the ways of the Christ.
7. What about the single mother and her children; who find the father has left or passed.
They are never out from under the authority of their heavenly Father, their lord their savior Jesus the Christ. For they never left nor rejected Gods design or plan.
Guilt is not to be placed on the children for the acts or actions of the father. Nor is the woman guilty of an offense. Guilt lies with the one who committed the act.